“How do I relax??!”

A question thrown at me a lot! So let’s start randomly with HOW we learn things…

You’ve heard it a million times over “practice makes perfect”… and I’m sorry to be that annoying mum but it really is true.

Think of the very first time you sat in the driver’s seat of a car. You plonked yourself down, put your hands on the steering wheel, gave it a wiggle, pushed your feet down onto the pedals, hand on the gear stick, switched the engine on and then… that’s it! Off you went and drove.

Nope. You had NO idea what you were doing.

Even by the end of the first lesson, you were still none the wiser. You got back into that car the second time and had forgotten almost everything.

But look at you now! It’s as if those lessons never existed. You make it look all so easy. You just get in the car and go from A to B without even having to think about the car. Right?

It’s because you practiced. And it’s because that same practice brings you to the very top step in the learning skills ladder (also known as the ‘conscious competence ladder’) and thanks to Noel Burch we have this understanding of how skills are learned and also something we talk about further in my hypnobirthing courses.

Basically, in 4 steps we go from unconscious incompetence through to unconscious competence (lovely words right??! 🤣)

But what has this got to do with how I relax??

Well… I’m glad you asked.

To learn how to relax and stay calm during pregnancy and labour, you need to be able to successfully use the hypnobirthing and relaxation techniques without having to think about them (unconscious competence).

And quite simply. If you don’t practice, the techniques won’t work.

And in today’s world of being so blindly busy and overwhelming it can be VERY easy NOT to take time out for yourself or your baby.

This is also why I hear people say “oh I’m just going to wait for my maternity leave before doing any antenatal courses or birth research”.  That’s because your mind is so consumed with your to-do list and work handover (or people cramming more onto you before you leave!) you simply feel like you don’t have the capacity to take on anything extra.

Sorry but that’s a hard nope in my book. Especially if you aspire to having a calm and informed birth experience.

So, what can I do? How do I relax??!

Another great question.

During my courses I explain how you can incorporate your techniques into everyday life events, such as brushing your teeth (hopefully!), taking a shower (hello perinium! 😉), stopping at a red traffic light (hello pelvic floor exercises!), standing in a queue (hello breath!) and so much more.

BUT most importantly is the conscious effort you make to dedicate time to you and your growing baby.

This is why every Tuesday evening at 8pm, me and a bunch of WONDERFUL expectant mums get together for 1 hour where we practice our breathwork and… well… I basically send you off into a peaceful slumber (if you wish) with your oxytocin and endorphins running high 😊

These sessions mean that once a week you have a conscious 1 hour of practice to ingrain learnings and become an EXPERT on how to relax.

Fancy joining in? You can BOOK HERE
(mention this blog and you’ll get a free relaxation session) 😉

And to blast you into the future, this practice and ability to relax and essentially look after yourself, continues through parenthood. Making sure your child watches you do this, they latently learn how to look after themselves with simple, calm, mindfulness.

Which I think it always pretty special. In fact you can see one of my children doing exactly that here 🧘🏻‍♀️

Personal Testimonials and Experiences

“I slept all the way through!” ~ Amber and Lauren

“I turned my camera off and got in the bath” ~ Rachael

“These sessions have meant everything to me” ~ Amy

“My baby’s birth was so much easier thanks to these sessions” ~ Sophie

“I can’t believe how relaxed I felt!” ~ Katie

“I fall asleep EVERY time!” ~ Nicole

“I miss these sessions so much” ~ Emma

“Can you do these every night??!” ~ Cat

Any questions?

Just give me a shout!

Nicki x

Your Forever Birth Nerd at Bold Birthing